Suns out bun(ion)s out
The return of nice weather means revealing parts of yourself you’ve been able to keep hidden throughout the winter. I know that, collectively, we make a big deal about “beach bodies,” but f*ck that. I’m talking about feet.
When the weather started getting nice this year, I decided to break out my sandals with reckless abandon to the fact that my feet were not at all ready for that kind of attention. I normally get a pedicure or do one at home before hand, but a) I’ve been pretty busy and b) I’ve been kind of a cheap skate lately. Whatever the reason, I’m going to blame Michigan’s never-ending-winter for my inability to postpone my personal sandal season.
To be honest, my feet weren’t that awful thanks to one of those weird fruit-acid foot peels. My brother gave me the Tony Moly Foot Peeling Shoes as a Christmas gift and, after the shedding subsided, my feet were smoother than they have ever been. So, in my defense, on the first day I decided to break out the sandals my feet weren’t awful, but they still weren’t great. I digress.
My feet are FUBAR
Unfortunately, thanks to a pair of ill-fitting sandals, my feet got funky in no time flat. I bought a pair of sandals from Target that ended up being just a liiiitle bit too small and my heel kind of hung off the back of the shoe. Within weeks, my heels were more calloused than they’ve ever been. They were dry, cracking and ashy AF. For some reason that I can’t quite put my finger on, I continued to wear the shoes. I should have been ashamed of myself and not even been wearing sandals at all, but I just kept on wearing those awful sandals and exposing my nasty-ass feet to the whole world. So, if you’ve seen me or my feet within the last three months, this is my formal apology for my brazen disrespect of social norms.
I was at a crossroads. Do I suck it up and go get a pedicure, despite the fact that I kind of hate them? Or do I try to handle this foot SNAFU on my own?
It seemed like one of the best ways to remedy the situation was to use another foot mask. It worked great the first time around and this time there was even more room for improvement. Unfortunately, I didn’t want to wait two weeks to have socially-acceptable feet. The next viable option was busting out my trusty Tweezerman callus smoother, but in the end I decided that my feet were a little too gnarly for that even that. Desperate times call for desperate measures, and I knew I was going to have to break out the big guns, so to speak, so I headed to my local Ulta in search of something that would take my feet from appalling to acceptable in the shortest amount of time possible.
I spend a lot of time and money at Ulta so I had a relatively good idea of what they had to offer in the foot department. I knew that my best option was probably going to be the Amope PediPerfect, the electronic foot file. I didn’t have high hopes. I purchased a PediPerfect at Target a few years ago and was sorely disappointed—it didn’t do anything to my feet.
To my surprise, in the years since my failed attempt with the product, they have since launched an ‘extra coarse’ version. The new version, which comes with a pink handle as opposed to blue, is made with diamond crystal microgranules and designed to remove “stubborn, thick, hard skin.” (Mmm. Sexy.) I figured it was worth a try.
Putting it to the test
Despite having very low expectations, I couldn’t wait to try this sucker out. I busted it out as soon as I got home. Normally, it’s best to soak your feet before trying to remove any skin, but the package specifically said for use on dry feet, so I went to town right away.
Talk about instant gratification. In a matter of minutes, the Amope PediPerfect had buffed away the majority of my dry, dusty skin leaving me with touchably smooth, visibly smooth feet. I had to put in essentially no effort—the motor does all the work for you. All I had to do was roll the device back and forth on my feet—no scrubbing, no shedding—and within minutes I had silky smooth feet. I was amazed.
Now that I’ve unlocked the panacea for gnarly feet—I don’t want to take these soft, beautiful feet for granted. To make sure that they stay soft, I followed up with some lotion. I like the Amlactin Alpha-Hydroxy Therapy Foot repair cream. (It was recommended to my mom by her podiatrist, so you know the stuff is legit.) It’s been almost a week and my feet are *still* soft and smooth. You can catch me doing this on a weekly basis for the rest of the summer my life.
The Amope PediPerfect is the key to all your nasty feet woes. I’ve basically been telling (and showing) everyone about how great I think the Amope PediPerfect is and how smooth it has made my once-repugnant feet. I even tried to demonstrate how great it is to my boyfriend (on his foot—not mine) but he wasn’t into it.